Friday, August 19, 2011

till the last breath of this body!!!

dunno why out of a sudden i had this urge of writing this....its been a long time since i had updated this blog but today when i came back home and saw the faces of my both girls i felt like telling them how i love them but i do know they are in a such innocent age they wont understand what i intended to tell them....when vinithaa was conceived, i had anticipated for her arrival since the first day i knew that my other half is carrying another soul within...coincidentally i watched billy crystals interview by david letterman in which he told that the moment he found out that his daughter is pregnant with his first granddaughter, he started loving the kid....for those who does not share the same sentiment as i am, this emotion could be hard to fathom but i understand him fully without a single node of doubt....the feeling of an anticipating father waiting for the arrival of his first offspring is hard to tell...if i felt that way, imagine her grandfather who'd been waiting for the past 10 years to carry his first grand kid,  the anticipation whilst he was with my mom and after her passing...i still remember going into the labor room and watching her coming out from her mothers womb and the realization that im a father now is hard to tell...all the childhood memories  that i had is practically being played all again within the confined space of my intelligence grandpa, mom, dad, brothers, the old houses....all the thing that i had experienced before i manifested into what i am today....seeing the little person being rolled out from the labor room and watching her from the viewing mirror of the baby room...coming to delishaa, so many people told me that the second one will be a breeze as you will be used to all those things after the first one..let me tell you, i had the same state of mind and anticipation when the mother was rolled into the labpr room and later being told that she had to go for Caesar and the baby is in duress had made me a very anxious person even after she was born as i was worried for the mother....luckily i had my father and other family members with me at that juncture giving me support....the feeling of suddenly being a father for two kids is such a wonderful state and i have no words for it.....nowadays whenever im with them and watching them growing up is such a joy i wish that i will be forever immersed in this feeling and im pretty sure that i will experience it for years to i know what my parents felt and hoped from all of us......i will always love you mom and my love for my father knows no kids and the other not ask how much i love u all.....every single breath!!!!